thankful

I wish I were brave enough to post pictures of how messy our apartment is right now, but I don't want to embarrass myself. Things have really slipped through the cracks lately. Dishes are spilling over the sink, laundry is stacked in piles, and trash bags are crowding the kitchen. Then there are the thank you cards that I still haven't written from Lilyan's Baptism and her 6, 7, now 8 month pages that remain blank in her baby book. Time is passing by so fast and Lilyan is growing so quickly. I feel as if I will wake up tomorrow and she will already be 1 year old. Plus, it doesn't help that for the rest of the year, the project I am on will keep me at work from 8am-8pm and during "shut-down" where every other employee gets the week off over the holidays, my team will be working hard to meet our go-live date. What's the point of making a living if you can't fully live?

...and just like that, as quickly as that thought enters my mind, it leaves. Because while I'm complaining that my apartment is messy, I know that my relatives in the Philippines are all crammed into one living space where the dirt ground is their floor. My laundry is piled by the washing machine, theirs hung out on clotheslines. Our trash bags crowding the kitchen, their neighborhood crowded with trash. Baby books, thank you cards, the many things that I have on my to-do list, they will never own or see. And my job, a stable job that could support all of them. Meanwhile, here I am complaining of long hours! My sister Tracy was fortunate enough to make the trip out there with my Mom, Llew, my grandparents, and my Aunt a few weeks ago. Although I couldn't experience it firsthand, the pictures and stories made me appreciate my life so much more. Our cousins both male & female used to wear our clothes we had passed off to them and still use our baby blanket that we had when we were little...and I used to complain about getting hand me downs from my older sister!

[tracy found our baby blanket!]

[my sister, mom, and relatives]

[my mom and relatives]

[laundry, hanging out to dry!]

[my grandma passing out gifts]

I am so thankful for everything I had as a child growing up. I only wish I could appreciate it while I was younger. I remember my mom would always say, "You don't know how good you have it!"...and all I could think was how I wanted that thing...whatever insignificant thing it was...because all of my friends had it.

So, while its hard not to get wrapped up in the everyday stresses of life, I've learned that it helps to take a step back and appreciate every little thing I have. Not just the great material things (like my new Nikon D5000!) but also the job that drives me crazy, the small apartment we live in, and the old car that I drive.