Happy Father's Day!


back from dallas y'all

I survived my first trip to Dallas! I'm not a fan of the small planes we took to get there, but that's all United offers on a one way trip. Oh well, I'll save the worrying for my next trip in about a month. 

Surprisingly, Dallas is really nice! Not that I expected it to be some crap-hole, but I didn't realize how up and coming the area is. I stayed in Irving and was impressed with all of the restaurant options, shopping centers, and new buildings. Everything really is bigger in Texas! My favorite place there was the Southlake Town Square. Another place that we were supposed to go to was the Dallas Arboretum. Every Thursday they have outdoor concerts where you can bring your own picnic and listen to live music. It was sold out this time, but next time we're there some of my co-workers and I plan on going. 

Overall, this week was physically and mentally draining. Work was intense and I missed home like crazy. I found myself scrolling through my phone during meetings to look at pictures of Lily over and over again. I'm so glad to be home. I used to love traveling for work, but now I'd do anything to have all of the project work based out of VA. At least while Lily is still a baby. I swear I came back yesterday and she seemed so much bigger! When she first saw me, she stared at me for about 10 mins. like she was trying to figure out who I was. Although, I'm sure some of it had to do with the fact that I woke her up from her nap. Anyways, enough wasting time on the computer, I have to make the most out of this weekend! 

Happy 5 months Lilyan Grace!


separation anxiety

I googled the term "separation anxiety" and among the returned search results: "...help your child overcome this common phase," "...many kids develop separation anxiety," "...a fairly common anxiety disorder that affects children."

Apparently, I'm too old to be suffering from this disorder. This Sunday I'm flying to Dallas for a business trip for a week...a whole week...without Lily. Ever since I booked the trip, I've been having anxiety over the whole thing. Mainly over the fear of flying itself. Which is silly, since at one point I was racking up so many frequent flier miles with United Airlines that I reached Premier status and earned free first class upgrades and enough miles to pay for round trip tickets to Mexico & Utah. Now all of a sudden, I'm afraid of flying. Then to further attribute to my fears, I had a dream about a plane crash, followed by the crash of Air France, followed by *2 birds repeatedly flying into our apartment windows. In the past week I've done everything I can to justify my anxiety, which has led nowhere. Maybe my dream about the plane crash was foreshadowing the Air France incident...does this mean I have psychic abilities? Great, so each time I have a bad dream, is it going to come true? I even called the office at the apartment complex to reassure myself that its common for birds to fly into windows on our side of the building. That didn't help..."Oh, no we never receive ANY complaints about birds...there must be something about YOUR apartment! How funny!" ...Funny? Not quite the word I was thinking.

So, just as I was thinking I'm doomed...the maintenance guy came by to repair the toilet and I asked him about the bird issue. Thankfully, he said he sees it all the time on our side of the building since it faces the woods, especially this time of year. Another thing I found out online (I swear the internet is a double-edged sword) is that it's common to develop anxieties after having a baby since now you are responsible for the safety and upbringing of another person. I even found a couple other people who blogged about the same fears. So, I'm not alone, which is always comforting. After all of this I've finally concluded that it's normal to be scared about leaving Lily for a week and also to just trust in God's plan for me. Nobody can promise that I'll be okay on my trip, but knowing that what is meant to be is meant to be offers some relief. I'm just wishing this trip was over already...the verge of a full blown panic attack is really stressing me out.

By the way, I should start a list of all the things that have happened to me postpartum, so I'm better prepared next time.
  • hair loss
  • stretch marks
  • anxiety
  • anxiety
  • anxiety
I'm starting to think these symptoms are a result of weaning Lily off breastfeeding. I should ask the internet a therapist.

Anyways, I thought I'd feel better after posting this, but it has basically re-opened the can of anxieties I was having. So, to end on a good note, I am going to re-read this post I came across from Danielle Steel's blog (yes, the author). Like I said, knowing that other people are going through what I am, gives me comfort in the fact that I'm not completely crazy!

*If you haven't heard the superstition, please don't bother, it will only freak you out if a bird ever flies into one of your windows or into your house.

4 months old and 2 weeks late!

I can't believe my Lil G is already 4 and 1/2 months old. It didn't hit me until this morning how big she has gotten. As I held her in one arm and made a bottle in my other, she kept grabbing for the bottle. Then as I'm washing one of the 20 parts to the Dr. Brown bottles, she grabs the middle piece right out of the bottle and puts it in her mouth. She clearly understands what a bottle is these days, assembled or not. Even more impressive, she can hold her own bottle now! Of course when I'm not helping her hold it I stuff a blanket under for some support, but still, how did she get so big so fast? Another thing she's fond of is rolling over and over until she's about 6 feet from her playmat. As always, it's the little things she does that never cease to amaze me. So, in addition to grabbing and rolling, she's eating baby food now! I started her out on oatmeal and rice cereal and have moved on to butternut squash, sweet potatoes, bananas, and avocado. I have yet to get the Beaba Babycook, but nonetheless am still attempting to make her food myself. So far it's been pretty easy and the butternut squash, which I roasted for 40 mins., made about 10 servings! Cheap, easy, and yummy (I ate some myself).

oh and just an FYI, b/c I'm weeks late in posting this...
@ Lily's 4 month check-up she weighed 13lb 6 oz. and was 24.5 inches long

So, in other news....

Last weekend was Brian's birthday! I'm so glad it's over...but only because I had planned a surprise outing and it was stressing me out having to keep it a secret from him.

So in a nutshell here's how it went:

Friday - Brian goes out with friends, I stay home worried that his friends are ruining the surprise for the following night.

Saturday - 9am: Brian almost ruins my plan for the night when he claims he is "too hungover to go out tonight." 6pm: Cookout at Brian's parents...I'm still stressing out about everything. I can't enjoy myself because the limo bus is picking up all of his friends while we're there and I'm getting antsy. 8pm: Limo bus is on it's way to Brian's parents to surprise Brian. 8:15pm: Bus has arrived and Brian still has no idea. We get ready to go out to a bar in "Ashburn", head out the door, then I wrap a blindfold around his eyes. He gets on the bus and 25 of his close friends are on the bus..SURPRISE! We take him to Arlington and go on a mini bar crawl, meanwhile he is wearing a list of tasks he has to complete throughout the night. Some of my favorites..."Kiss a Cougar", "Back that thang up to a dirty girl", "Take a blowjob shot". hahaha what a great night.

Sunday - Charles Town...Races and Slots! Surprisingly, I've never been there. Also surprising was the fact that we actually went considering the massive hangovers we all had. Nothing a little bloody mary couldn't fix! So, we went there and I won 3 of the 5 races I bet on....beginner's luck? I ended on a good note thanks to betting on horse 9 Shining Charlotte to win straight up in the last race!

Next weekend I leave for Dallas for a week for work. I am not pumped at all. For starters I hate hate HATE flying, (but love traveling...how does that work?) and second, this will be the first time I'm away from Lily for more than a day. Ughh....oh well...que sera sera! One thing I am looking forward to? Our one week vacation in Seneca, South Carolina at my uncle's lake house! We leave on June 28th...I can't wait!